For Parents: What My Kid's Session Will Look Like

Many parents wonder what bringing their kid to therapy will be like. Maybe you’ve been to therapy yourself and are familiar with how it works, or maybe you have no idea what to expect. Representations in TV and movies are often inaccurate. The truth is, it can look many different ways, but here’s a little bit about what it usually is like in my practice:

Most sessions will be guided by your middle schooler or teen. You’re a vital part of their mental health, but primarily your child and I will work together. Our first session is used to get to know each other. We’ll meet all together at first and discuss what brought you to therapy, what your child’s goals and expectations are, how privacy in session works, and some other nuts and bolts. After this, how long you’re included during the session is up to your child.

Sometimes in that first session, kids are feeling scared and don’t yet feel comfortable talking one on one with me, so their parent stays with us the whole time. If this continues past the first session, we work to gradually shorten the amount of time the parent is present over time. It’s important to me to respect kids’ feelings of safety, so I do this gently and never insist on one on one conversations if they aren’t ready for it.

Other times, kids do not want to discuss what’s going on with their parent in the room. In this case after we talk about privacy and expectations, the session will continue with just the child. As a parent, being asked to leave the room may feel weird. But keep in mind that therapy works best when the client feels they can be totally honest without fear of worrying or offending others. This also helps your child develop a sense of independence.

After the first session, it’s typical for most of my clients to handle the session entirely on their own. Sometimes parents of preteens will join for a few minutes in the beginning to help review what happened since the last session. Then, the kiddo and I will talk one-on-one for the majority of the session. At the end, if there’s anything you should know I’ll ask the child to bring you onto the call to discuss that, but otherwise we just finish the call.

I encourage parents to shoot me an email before the session if there’s anything you think it would be helpful for me to know. Afterwards, if I have any brief updates or questions, I will email you or schedule a phone call if appropriate.

As the parent, you and I will check in on your child’s progress periodically. This can be on a phone call, in person, or over email (if appropriate). Together with your teen, we’re a team with the same goal: getting your child to a happy, healthy place.